FAQ: What to Know Before You Show Up IRL

Is this a dating event?

Nope. This isn’t a singles event, speed dating, matchmaking, or anything close. People come to connect - not to get hit on. The goal is meaningful conversation, not romantic chemistry. If sparks happen naturally, that’s awesome, but that’s not the point of the night.

Can I ask for someone’s number or Instagram?

No. You can’t ask for anyone’s contact info - but you can offer your own.

Here’s why that matters. When you don’t have to fend off unwanted asks, you can actually relax and be yourself. And when you offer your info instead, it becomes an act of intention, not expectation.

We’ll have blank connection cards where you can write your name, contact info, and maybe a note about something you talked about - a shared interest, a local spot you both want to visit, a book you found out you both love. Hand it to them if it feels right.

No pressure. No awkward moment at the end.

This is about connection, not collection.

Is this a safe space?

Yes - fully. New Haven IRL is intentionally open, inclusive, and welcoming to everyone.

All genders, sexualities, races, and identities belong here. We don’t tolerate disrespect, exclusion, or anything that makes someone feel small.

The host team quietly keeps an eye on tone and energy so everyone can relax. The vibe we protect is curiosity, kindness, and comfort.

What if someone makes me uncomfortable?

Tell us. Privately, quietly, anytime. We’ll take care of it. You’ll never be asked to “just let it go.” Everyone deserves to feel safe, and we take that seriously.

What if I’m shy or introverted?

Perfect. You don’t have to fake extroversion here. The structure does most of the work - the conversation cards, pacing, and timing help things flow naturally. You can pass, pause, or take a breather anytime, no questions asked.

There’s even a Social Battery Recharge Station - a quiet spot to reset before jumping back in.

Will I have to talk in front of the whole group?

You’ll sit at tables of three or four people. Each round is small, relaxed, and personal - no stage, no spotlight. At the end of the night we do a “pass the mic” moment where you can speak briefly, but it’s 100% opt-in and we have plenty of people who “pass.”

Can I come alone?

Yes, and most people do. You’ll meet new faces right away, and because everyone came for the same reason, it’s never awkward for long.

Will every Social Salon be the same?

Not even close. The structure is the same, so you’ll know what to expect, but every Salon has a different mix of activities, prompts, and people - and that changes everything.

Sometimes you might see a familiar activity card return, but with new faces at your table, it’ll feel completely different. No two rooms ever have the same energy, and no two nights unfold the same way.

That’s part of the magic. The structure stays steady so you feel comfortable, but the conversations, timing, and discoveries are always new.

What if I’d prefer an event with a certain age range or community?

You’re not the only one thinking that way - and we’re already building toward it.

We’ll soon be launching New Haven IRL Community Building Events, designed for specific groups who share a common thread - whether that’s age, identity, interests, or goals. Think “30s & Figuring-It-Out Edition,” “LGBTQ+ Night,” or “New to New Haven Mixers.”

They’ll still have the same welcoming structure, but with a tighter sense of shared context.

If there’s a community you’d love to see a night built around, tell us! The whole point of IRL is to make it easier to meet your people - we’re just designing the spaces for it to happen.

Are Social Salons the only kind of event you do?

Not at all - they’re just the start. The Social Salon is our flagship experience: the biggest and most structured of our events.

But if you’d rather connect in a smaller crowd, during the day, or around a shared creative activity, stay tuned. We’re already developing a lineup of new formats designed for different energy levels, schedules, and comfort zones.

Think coffeehouse conversations, creative collaboration nights, outdoor meetups, and smaller themed gatherings - all built with the same IRL approach that makes meeting people actually feel natural.

Can you bring this to my workplace, apartment complex, or group?

Yes - and we’d love to.

We’re starting to offer custom IRL events built specifically for workplaces, apartment communities, social clubs, and organizations that want to bring people together in a meaningful way.

We can design a night around your goals - building connection, easing team dynamics, or helping new residents feel at home - while keeping the same signature IRL flow and feel.

If you’re curious, reach out through the contact form or email us directly. We’ll help you create something that feels personal, fun, and genuinely effective at helping people connect.

What’s the crowd like?

Mostly curious, kind, thoughtful adults in their 20s to 40s who live in or around New Haven. People who are done with surface-level small talk and ready to actually connect.

Is there alcohol?

It depends on the event. Our Social Salons have a cash bar if you’d like a drink, but drinking is optional. The night works perfectly fine without it.

Is it accessible?

It depends on the venue. Our first two Social Salons are being held in the Queens Lounge at Armada Brewing, which is upstairs - two short flights, but no elevator. We know that limits who can attend, and we’re already planning future events in fully accessible spaces. New Haven IRL will rotate venues so everyone has a chance to join.

Do I need to bring anything?

Just curiosity and a charged social battery. We’ve got everything else.

What should I wear?

Whatever makes you feel like yourself. Think “comfortable but I might meet someone cool.” Most people land somewhere between casual and date-night-adjacent.

Will there be food?

It depends on the venue. Armada has a great bar, and nearby food options if you want to eat before or after, but not at the event itself.

What should I expect to leave with?

Maybe a few new friends. Maybe just the memory of conversations that felt real. Probably both. The goal isn’t to leave with a stack of contacts - it’s to leave feeling seen, lighter, and reminded that good people still exist.